Chapter 6
When Katie got up the next morning, she found a note from Lucy on the kitchen counter that said she had gone for a run. She was so proud of Lucy’s self-discipline. Meet or no meet, her daughter was going to run at least two miles a day, sometimes more. Glancing at the clock, she figured that Lucy would be back within thirty minutes or so, and afraid that she would reissue her invitation for lunch with Miss Georgia when she got back, Katie quickly showered. “Coward,” she thought to herself as she hopped in David’s old truck and headed to Farm Supply for feed.
Lucy’s relationship with Miss Georgia was something of a mystery to Katie. All the teen girls at the church had a Senior Sister, but Lucy seemed more attached to hers than Katie could have ever been as a high school girl. The program was the brainchild of the new pastor who wanted to build “intergenerational relationships within the church body” according to the letter she had received when the program started. Katie had met the new minister only twice, once last Christmas and the second time on Mother’s Day when she had attended a special service with her daughter, her mother and her sisters. He was younger than the minister who had been there when she and David attended regularly, but he seemed to have great enthusiasm for his job and her entire family had nothing but praise for him.
Katie felt another twinge of guilt as she thought about the young pastor and the infrequency of her church attendance. “I’m sure they all think I’m the world’s worst mother,” she thought. “I don’t know where they get off. Just because I don’t go to church every Sunday…”
Any Sunday the voice in her head said sadly.
As she drove toward town, Katie remembered going to church with David and Lucy. Even though his prior experience with church had been largely social, David seemed to genuinely enjoy getting involved once they moved to Lincoln. He had made friends and participated in the men’s ministry, giving generously of both his time and talents. He had developed an especially close relationship with Dr. Schultz, the minister who had pastored the church for most of their married life. In many ways, David seemed more at home than she was even though she had attended Shiloh Baptist Church all of her life. They hadn’t talked about it much. She had accepted that choice just like she had accepted all of David’s choices and followed his lead.
When Katie pulled into the parking lot, she saw Sadie filling her trunk with tulip bulbs and sacks of bone meal. Sadie’s coppery hair was as shiny as new penny in the warm autumn sun, making it impossible not to recognize her. Katie hopped out of the truck and made her way across the asphalt lot.
“Where in the world are you planning to plant all those?” Katie asked with a lopsided grin. “I wasn’t aware you had that much yard.”
“Hey! Feeling better?” Sadie asked, continuing to load her purchases.
“Yeah, much. Thanks for taking care of my lesson plans yesterday,” she replied.
“No problem. And I don’t have that much yard. As a matter of fact the tiny square in front of my apartment is maxed. These are for the school. The kids in Learn and Serve are doing a little beautification project this afternoon,” Sadie said, pausing to wipe the sweat from her freckled nose on the sleeve of her shirt. “I wish I had enough yard for all these though. If you aren’t busy you ought to come by. I have an extra trowel.”
“Uhhhh, yeah, well as much as I wish I could, I have to call Leigha and plan for one of my mom’s famous family dinners. Evan’s home from school and that means a huge dinner tomorrow. What are you doing tomorrow? Mom’s been asking if you are ever coming back,” Katie asked.
“Nothing, but I hate to intrude. All my weekends are pretty much free at this point,” Sadie said wryly.
“So things are definitely over between you and Jared?” Katie asked.
“Oh, yeah. Over, done, finished. You know I’ve had my doubts for a while, but we pretty much sealed the deal a couple of weekends ago. I don’t want the city, and he doesn’t want the country. Case closed,” she said.
“Why didn’t you say something, kid?” Katie asked sympathetically.
“What’s to say?” Sadie said, shrugging her shoulders. “Besides, I’m not mourning the loss. Our time together was enjoyable. We just have incompatible life plans. I’m good by myself for now. I didn’t see any reason to bother you with it.”
“I wish I had half your confidence,” Katie said wistfully. “I just can’t seem to figure out what I want in spite of all this …experience.”
“You’ll figure it out, Katie,” Sadie said, her eyes full of compassion for her friend. “You and David were together a long time. It’s…”
“…natural, I know,” Katie finished the sentence. She shook her head and waved off the conversation. “What about Sunday then? Can I count you in?”
“I accept,” Sadie said, a smile erasing the look of concern. “I look forward to seeing Evan. He can tell me if anything he learned in my class has come in useful.”
“Awesome. We’ll eat around one. Have to give everyone time to get home from church, you know.” A hint of resentment was audible in her voice in spite of her best efforts to conceal it.
Sadie raised one eyebrow. “Oooooookay…”
“Sorry. I’m just irritable this morning. Leftovers from the meds, I guess,” Katie said quickly, trying to cover her embarrassment at having betrayed her emotions. “I need to go pick up some feed and get home. I’ll see you tomorrow. You remember where my parents live, right?”
“Sure thing. See you there,” Sadie replied and returned to loading her trunk.
Chapter Seven
Once Katie put the truck back in the barn and unloaded the feed, she pulled out her cell phone to call Leigha . The number rang through just as her sister pulled her Jeep into the drive. She walked around to the front of the house and sat down on the steps.
Leigha took off the cap she habitually wore when she drove with the top off and flung it into the passenger side seat, running her fingers through her shoulder-length wheat-colored curls with the other hand. “You were supposed to call,” she called from the front seat, uncurling a tall, slender frame nearly identical to Lucy’s from behind the steering wheel and climbing out.
“I just did,” Katie grinned. “Had to go pick up some feed for the troops. Lucy and Ev still going riding later?”
“Far as I know. I’m starving. You have anything to eat in there?” Leigha said, striding up the stairs.
The two sisters walked through the living room and into the kitchen. “Where is the kid? Evan’s not even out of bed yet,” Leigha said.
“Senior Sister thing,” Katie replied, looking in the refrigerator. She hoped her emotions were a little less evident than they had been earlier.
“Ahhh, the indomitable Miss Georgia. Lucy really has taken a liking to her, huh?”
“Yeah,” Katie said noncommittally. “What are you hungry for?”
“Junk food,” Leigha smiled. “What else?”
Ana laughed and pulled a caramel apple out of the fridge.
“So what’s with the mood anyway?” Leigha asked, rummaging around for a paring knife to slice up the apple.
Katie sighed. There was no use trying to pretend around her sister.
“Dish,” Leigha said, handing her sister the knife and dropping into a kitchen chair. “What’s eating you?”
She cut a slice of the candied apple for Leigha, handed it across the table, and then cut one for herself.
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” Katie said. “I have these weird dreams and wake up or just can’t seem to turn my brain off.”
Leigha nodded as she munched on her apple.
“Do you remember the first time we took Dad’s boat and went swimming off Andrew’s Island?” Katie continued sitting down across from her sister.
“Sure. What were we like twelve and fourteen? Elsie was still too little to go with us. Mom was absolutely hysterical that he was letting us take the boat by ourselves. I don’t think she spoke to him for days after that, remember?” Leigha laughed.
“Yeah,” Katie smiled, “she didn’t even cook supper that night. Dad blew it off and grilled hot dogs or something. Did you ever notice that her ultimate revenge was a refusal to cook?”
“I’d forgotten, but yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe that’s why I swore off hot dogs until Matty came along. Too many negative associations,” Leigha said with mischievous grin. “So what’s with the trip down memory lane? You stalling me, here?”
Katie reached for the apple, cut another slice and handed it to her sister.
“Remember how scary it was that first time, walking out into the river. It was unfamiliar territory. We didn’t know where the holes were or where the bottom dropped out and we had nobody to swim to the rescue if we ventured out into the current or got in over our heads. I remember inching my way out, with one foot in front feeling for a dip.”
Leigha laughed again. “How can I forget? I tried to show off and stepped off a ledge and almost drowned myself.”
“Well, that’s what life feels like for me right now,” Katie said. “It’s like I’m inching along an hour at a time, just waiting to fall into a hole and drown myself. Am I ever going to feel normal again?”
“You’re such a cheery little soul,” Leigha remarked drolly.
“I’m not kidding, Lei, it’s like I’ve been dumped unceremoniously in unfamiliar territory, and I haven’t a clue what’s coming next.”
“C’mon, it’s not all that bad. It’s life. It goes with the territory. Hand me that apple.”
“It’s not just the regular life things,” Katie replied handing her the rest of the apple and the knife. “It’s everything. It’s losing David, it’s my relationship with Mark, it’s the job and watching Lucy grow up and away from me and the list seems like it goes on forever. I know you hate it when I whine, but I can’t seem to get my feet under me this time. I just want to feel like I have a grip on things again...”
“I know,” Leigha said, wiping her hands on a nearby dishtowel and rising from her seat. She walked around the table and hugged her younger sister. “I know that’s what you want. You’ve always been such a control freak. But I don’t think there’s an easy answer for this one. You’re still in the middle of some big changes. You may just have to bounce for a while.”
“But what if I don’t bounce? What if I break instead?” Katie asked.
“You won’t,” Leigha reassured her. “It’s not in your programming.”
“I wish I could be so sure,” Katie said quietly.
“You don’t have to be. I’m sure enough for us both. Now forget about all this for a while and to make you feel better we can concentrate on something you can control – dinner tomorrow. I’m not in the mood for hot dogs,” Leigha said with a smile.
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